Friday, June 01, 2012

Innuendo from Kate

Two stories for you. 

First story:

One of the many fun things about our beach vacation was simply getting to be lazy in the morning, hanging around the condo and watching the Today show—my favorite. Since Kate was there with me, watching TV, I took the opportunity to educate her on the concept of commercials. I've read that since young kids really can't tell the difference between advertising and regular programming, it's an important part of teaching against consumerism to talk about the purpose of commercials.

So, I told her how commercials are trying to get us to buy something, and how in most cases we don't need what they're trying to get us to buy.

"They're trying to get us to buy a new car, but we don't need a new car, do we?"

"They're trying to get us to buy new kitchen appliances, but we don't need new appliances, do we?"

And since we've been home, Kate sometimes asks when commercials come on, "what are they trying to get us to buy, Mommy?" We even saw an ad for gulf coast tourism. "They're trying to get us to buy a vacation at the beach, but we just went to the beach, didn't we?" "Yeah!"

This evening, Family Feud was on. Steve Harvey said, "We asked 100 people, what things do makers of adult films not have to spend money on?"

Matt shouts out, "costumes!" as I'm thinking, "ok, Kate doesn't understand the question, right?"

One contestant answers, "condoms."

Kate looks at me excitedly and says, "We don't need that, Mommy! We already stayed in a condo!"


Second story:

This morning, Kate suddenly remembered a plaything that "magically" disappeared several days ago (as many useless items in our house do—stickers from the grocery store, a rock from the church parking lot, etc.) "I want my balloon, Mommy!"

"Sorry, sweetie," I answered. "It went down a few days ago. Balloons don't last forever!"

Fast forward to this evening. Family Feud has just been turned off and we're having dinner. Somehow, the conversation turns to my "maternaboobs" (Matt's term for my lactationally-enhanced figure).

"I get to keep them six more months," I said sadly. "Then they'll go down."

"It's okay, Mommy," Kate chimed in. "Balloons don't last forever!"


Matthew Kelley said...

Just for the record, "wardrobe" was the #1 answer, and it doesn't take a genius or a perv to figure that one out

Kristen said...

Oh my goodness. Those are hilarious! And I love the term "maternaboobs" :)

Lisa MH said...

OMG, I love these comments!!!!


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